In the television series Gilmore Girls, a character named Rory, prior to making any tough decision, is shown compiling a pro and con list. She toils over one when deciding which college to attend after high school, and then another near the end of the series when the time comes to figure out her next step. Regularly teased over her lists, it really isn’t a bad idea: thoughtfully organizing on paper all the reasons to do or not do a particular thing. In reality—though we aren’t always consciously aware of this fact—aren’t there pros and cons associated with just about everything? (Unless, for example, we’re talking about whether or not to stop at a Crumble for cookies or at Mahoney’s in Carthage, Illinois, for iced coffee. There’s literally no debate there.) We take pros and cons into account when determining where we’re going to live and specific things involving our kids. We assess pros and cons concerning little things, like which restaurant to dine at for lunch, and big things, like the type of wedding we plan to have. All along the way in life, our choices are met with potentially good and bad outcomes. Allow me to illustrate. After working second-shift at my job for almost 8 years, recently I switched to days. Prior to that time, I’d made myself as available to my kids as possible, educating them at home for eleven school years. From experience, I can attest: whether you work second-shift or first, there are an abundance of both pros and cons. On second shift, I didn’t have to go into work until 4:00 p.m., affording me the advantage of time with my kids all morning and afternoon: pro. Around 4:00 p.m., though, is when my husband gets off from his own job, meaning we basically didn’t see each other on nights that I had to work: con. I could easily schedule appointments during the day, meet someone for lunch, take naps if I wanted to: all pros. But I missed out on tons of my boys’ Little League games over the years, didn’t make it to a lot of community events, and my sleep schedule was regularly unbalanced: certainly cons. Now that I’m working days, I look forward to finally having some of these opportunities in my reach again, but it also means missing out on various things I used to be able to do when I was working at night.
In this mishmash of positives and negatives, it can make decision-making really tough. From one angle, a scenario might look amazing, while, from another, horrendously bleak.
But often that’s just how it is. The path behind every choice isn’t always clear-cut, and we have to choose the option with the most benefits.
In my own life, when these kinds of circumstances arise, it’s helped to lean into the Holy Spirit. I hardly have every answer to everything, so turning to the One who does naturally makes sense to me.
We can formulate all the pro and con lists we want. But at the end of the day, we trust that God knows what’s best.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not into thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
A resident of McDonough County, Erin Eddy lives in Macomb with her husband, Mike, their five boys, and two zealous Australian Shepherds. She aspires to uplift readers, penning stories of encouragement and everyday life. Her work has been featured on the influential website Her View From Home, as well as the book series Chicken Soup for the Soul. Contact [email protected].
