In July 2023, the national suicide crisis line moved from an 800 number to an easy to remember three-digit number, 988, which is available 24/7/365. Along with this national number, numerous therapists and counseling centers are available throughout the U.S., including the McDonough County region, to provide assistance to those experiencing suicidal ideations.
Two area residents shared their experiences with therapy and why they sought help. The Community News Brief reached out to a local therapist, who shared questions with a few patients, who agreed to share their experiences anonymously. To protect their privacy, the individuals featured here will be referred to by letter aliases and non-gendered pronouns.
'A' realized after finding themselves crying in the bathroom at work on a regular basis to avoid family members hearing them cry that this wasn't 'normal' behavior in that they were hiding feelings at to avoid conversations.
'I didn't find joy in life. I didn't want death but I found myself wishing for emotional numbness because no matter how hard I tried to feel nothing to protect myself I still felt it all,' A shared. 'I was exhausted; I still am, but at least I don't wait for the void and wish for the abyss of nothingness as often.'
For A finding a therapy was easy enough at first, but then they lost their therapist to death after just a few sessions in. They took that as a sign that they didn't need therapy, but they still felt the same and it wasn't getting any better. A found themselves isolated and needing someone to talk to.
'I felt wrong in my own skin, but after I was paired with another therapist, things got better,' they added. 'Some of my biggest hurdles included self-doubt, and feeling like I'm crazy for having revolving thoughts. I tried to talk myself out of them because if they were true, then something that I didn't want to be wrong was in fact very wrong. I also experienced self-loathing for realizing that the entire time I was right and I just didn't want to accept it. I was ashamed for not listening to my feelings in the first place.'
What advice would A give someone looking for counseling the first time? Ask yourself 'why?' and be honest with your answer. Ask if it makes sense, and if you're okay with your answers. And if not, why?
'If you're unsatisfied with the answers you've given yourself, or you need more answers, seek help,' A pointed out. 'Seeking therapy is validating. I'm a pretty smart person, but sometimes it makes me oblivious to what would be obvious to another. Validation for my thought process and the stability of it has helped me trust myself a little more. It helps to know, and it feels good to know, I'm not alone in something and what I'm feeling is more normal than I expected.'
For A, therapy helps them continue to live their life because it serves as their 'pressure valve' as there's relief in voicing thoughts and opinions. Feedback received helps A navigate a situation or feeling, along with providing, as mentioned previously, validity.
'You're going to get emotional; there will be emotions if you're doing it right. Sometimes that’s uncomfortable,' A concluded. 'But in order to be comfortable you sometimes have to go through uncomfortable situations,' 'B' sought therapy because, as they put it, 'life was not good.' They found themselves withdrawing and wouldn't participate in activities, even something as simple as cooking dinner.
'I never felt like smiling and it was awful. I knew it was affecting my family,' B shared. 'I was later diagnosed as being bipolar.'
B said that for them finding a therapist was fairly easy, and they were able to find help with a phone call.
As for any hurdles faced with finding a therapist wasn't an issue, rather the stigma attached to mental health and therapy was something B felt at the time.
'I couldn't really talk about it to anyone. Mental illness isn't looked at the same way as a broken leg,' they said. 'Plus, co-pays have gone up, so it can get expensive. But I would tell someone, just do it. Start somewhere.
'People need to get things off their chest and need help solving problems. Friends aren't always qualified to handle some of the serious stuff. Therapy gives me an outlet and I don't have to treat my friends and family like therapists because I have one. I like having a safe space to talk and I look forward to going,' B pointed out. 'I wish more people would seek counseling. It has made a world of difference to me. While, it is not a quick fix because there may be a lot to unpack. It takes time, and you have to hang in there and trust the process.'
The most important aspect of B's relationship with their counselor comes down to trust. B knows their therapist has their best interests in mind. And what is said is counseling stays in counseling.
'The caring is really important too,' they added. 'I really feel that she cares about my well-being. I'm not just a number or means to a paycheck. Counselors don't react to shocking things like might hear like friends or family would. They have heard it all, or are at least trained to not react. The important thing is that you get it out and talk about it regardless of the 'delicate' nature of your issues. And you are not comfortable with your counselor, don't quit going. Just find someone else. That's okay.'
