Sharing Stories of Loss & Healing: 2025 Out of the Darkness Walk Speakers
In August 2020, Tonya Woods of Industry received the news that no mother wants to get: her son, Cooper, at the age of 28, not quite one month from his 29th birthday, had died by suicide. On June 29, 2014, Sarah Kosel of Macomb learned that her uncle, Timothy O'Malley, had died by suicide. Woods and Kosel will share their journeys of grief, healing and hope at this year's Macomb/ McDonough County Out of the Darkness Walk.
The 2025 walk begins at 9 a.m., Saturday, Sept. 27 on the front lawn of Macomb City Hall. September is designated as Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and the local Out of the Darkness Walk helps to raise awareness, as well as funds for the Illinois' chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Coordinated by Macomb resident Susan Denecke, the 10th annual Macomb/ McDonough County event brings together individuals who have lost friends and loved ones to suicide, and those who want to help raise awareness for suicide prevention.
There is no cost to take part in the Out of the Darkness Walk; however, anyone raising $150 for AFSP will receive the 2025 t-shirt. This year's sponsors include Capital Power, the Brendon and Sawyer Memorial Golf Outing, Therapeutic Solutions of Macomb, McDonough District Hospital Behavioral Health Services, Tri-States Public Radio, Community News Brief, City of Macomb and Macomb Park District.
Registration, though not required, can be done online at afsp.org/macombil or at the event. Stay tuned for future stories in The Community News Brief related to this year's event and Suicide Prevention Month.
Tonya's Story
'Cooper was so much more than how he died. He was a gentle giant, a man of few words. He loved and was loved,' Woods' shared. 'The biggest myth I try to debunk when I talk Cooper was that it was not 'the easy way out.' It was, sadly, what he viewed as his only option for peace.'
At the 2025 walk, Woods' message will be about the importance of community and finding 'your people.' She added that her message also focuses on talking openly about mental illness and suicide.
'If we don't talk about this, we will never be able to stop this terrible epidemic,' she pointed out. 'The more we talk openly about the dark and twisty parts of life, the more chances we have of helping one another.'
Woods' advice to those who think a friend or loved one is having suicidal ideations is to talk to them about your concerns, and if possible, connect them with someone who can help.
'I'd rather err on the side of overreacting,' she said.
According to Woods, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention {afsp.org} provides resources for those who are having thoughts of suicide, as well as for family, friends and loved ones who have lost someone to suicide. Woods is also part of the Compassionate Friends group, which meets at 6:30 p.m., the second Tuesday of every month, at the Industry United Methodist Church. The group is designed for bereaved parents, regardless of their child's cause of death.
' I firmly believe the most healing support comes from other suicide survivors,' she concluded.
Sarah's Story
'I share my story because of my uncle, Timothy O’Malley. I want people to know he was a kind man, and a loved father and grandfather. I also share my story because of a high school friend who was in the military and working at the Pentagon, and another friend who had schizophrenia,' Kosel shared. 'The message I'm sharing at this walk is that by participating in this event over the years, it has helped me be open with my children about suicide, to be able to talk to them about recognizing when you need help and about ways to reach out.'
As for Kosel's advice to someone who is having suicidal ideations (thoughts of suicide), she encourages them to reach out and talk to someone as there are people who can help. Her message is that no one is alone in their struggles.
'Moments can feel so heavy and dark, but they can and will pass,' she added. 'But there's help, such as calling the suicide hotline (988), reaching out to family or friends or getting clinical help like therapy/counseling or medication management. We have MDH Behavioral Health and Psychiatry, Therapeutic Solutions, North Central Behavioral Health, Counseling Cares and Lakeview Medical and Psychiatric Care, and there are numerous resources online.'
Like Woods, speaking about the loss of her uncle and friends by suicide helps to remove the stigma, while also helps to provide support to others who may be dealing with loss. She also advocates for adding resources for suicide prevention and awareness, rather than taking them away from select groups, such as the LGBTQ+ community.
'I also want to send a message that the myth that suicide is 'selfish' or that it should be hidden just aren't right. I don't like when people use the term 'committed suicide,' like they committed a crime. The way we say things matter,' she stated. 'Finally, I'd like to say thank you to Susan Denecke for organizing this walk every year, for bringing it to Macomb and for all of her hard work.'
Sarah Kosel's uncle Timothy O'Malley
